Sigal Cohen writes a letter to her daughter Hadar, who was murdered in a terror attack at the Damascus Gate: “I, the mother of 3 children of which 1 of them was taken in the prime of her life, doesn’t have a relaxed soul. I cannot explain in words the terrible pain of a mother who lost her daughter.”
Photo Credit: Channel 2 News
My darling, my beloved daughter, I write to you from the blood of my heart.
A year has passed and I cannot absorb your loss, my daughter. I look for you everywhere, at home, in your room, in bed, in books, in poems and in stories. I try to listen inside of the noise for your voice in the difficult moments of quiet and for your laughter.
The house has been silent since you left. The table on Friday night is not the same table. The days are difficult. The nights have turned sleepless since that bad day. The eyes have dried up looking for your image. Dreaming and imagining you at the entrance to the door saying with your big voice and beautiful smile, “Mom, everything is fine. I am here.” But it did not happen. It does not happen. It will not happen again.
Hadar, I am missing you. All of us are missing you. It’s impossible to describe in words the feeling. It is impossible to describe in words the deep void that has been opened, the longing. The heart cries and the tears run down and never stop. You wanted so much to be a fighter. You wanted to serve the country. You have fulfilled your dream. You have become a warrior. You have served the country and fallen for it.
The way you acted and the way you fell, with courage and heroism, has meaning that resonates. Your dream was cut short and we are broken. Many questions arise and give me no rest. How? Why? You always believed in the creator. You always said, “Everything is from above.” We are left to take comfort and to believe that you have gone where you went with complete faith in your actions and the creator of the universe. You are an angel and he wants you next to him.
And here we are left with open questions that we never get answers to. I, the mother who gave birth to 3 children of which 1 of them was taken in the prime of her life, doesn’t have a relaxed soul. I cannot explain in words the terrible pain of a mother who lost her daughter. A fracture that will never heal. As time passes, the pain intensifies and the heart refuses to believe that the separation is final.
Hadar my angel, keep us from above. Give us the strength to continue. Rest in peace, our daughter, our heroine.